I am one of those people that does not let things go. I hold on until the last possible second because I am always always always scared that losing something means never getting it back. This is true when it comes to my writing as well.
Today I made the decision to set aside the project I have been working on for the past seven years. It was a hard choice for me because I feel like I have poured part of my heart and soul into this piece, but I’ve come to the realization that this might be part of the problem. I am almost too attached to this idea that I am unwilling to change parts of the plot that simply do not work anymore.
I feel as though my writing has existed within the world of this piece for so long, that I will have a hard time finding a home for it elsewhere. I’ve written short projects outside of my main project, but nothing as intensive as the labor I put into this novel.
There’s a lot about this that is scary for me. I don’t know what I am capable of if I am even capable of writing other stories. If I am only good at writing one plot, do I deserve to be a writer at all? A lot of my confidence as a storyteller has been based around this piece, the fact that I wrote it at a young age and completed it. Ever since then it’s been editing and rewriting and not really getting anywhere. In a big way, this is like finding a new identity for myself where my old one no longer fits.
I’m resisting the urge to run back into the comfort zone of my first big project, but I am very excited to set out and try new things as a writer.
Have you dealt with similar struggles while writing? Does anyone have any advice with how to deal with this? I’m desperarelty in need of guidance.